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Helping Christian Men Regulate Their Fire & Heal Their Marriage

Coaching for men ready to lead with strength, love, and purpose

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Welcome
 

Welcome, Brother How are you feeling right now? Yeah—I’m asking how you’re feeling, not what you’re thinking. What’s going on in your body? Tight chest? Rage simmering under the surface? Do you feel like your partner—or the whole damn world—is against you? Maybe you feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one gets what it’s like to constantly be accused of being too much or crazy. You probably think you’re the only sane one in the room—because you see things clearly. You’re logical. You stay grounded. You know the difference between people who go after what they want, and those who don’t even know who they are. And honestly? You’re proud of yourself. You’ve been through hell—darkness most people couldn’t imagine. And you survived. You’ve Been Burned, But You Keep Showing Up You’ve been betrayed. Rejected. You know what it’s like when someone says they’ll never leave—then they do. So you tell yourself you don’t care anymore. You stop needing anyone. And yet—you still show up. You’re real. Raw. Unfiltered. You wear your flaws like armor and your pain like a badge of honor. Because damn it, you survived. But Then… She Showed Up She listened to your long-ass stories and actually cared. She saw your passion. She didn’t run. And for the first time in a long time… you felt vulnerable. Now the honeymoon phase is over. You’re arguing more. She feels controlling. And you? You don’t do control. You’re Not Weak—You’re Wounded You love her. You’d take a bullet for her. But do you feel safe in her arms? Probably not. Because “safe” sounds like weakness to you—like something a little boy would say, dreaming of a loving home he never had. But here’s the truth: That boy still exists. And he’s waiting for you to tell him: “You matter. I’ve got you now. You’re safe with me.” You Have a Father Who Never Left Brother, it’s time to trust your Heavenly Father. He’s not cold. He’s not distant. He loves you—not because of what you’ve done, but because of who you are. When you see yourself the way He sees you—not as bulletproof, but as His son—that’s when your real strength is unlocked. You’re Not Alone Anymore I know you can reach that place. Because I did. I’ve been close enough to your fire to smell the smoke. If you’re still reading, something in your spirit is waking up. Here’s My Invitation Not a therapy session. Not a self-help program. A brotherhood. I’m here to help you lay down your weapons. To stop fighting battles you were never meant to fight alone. To help you remember who you really are. You’re Frodo. I’m just Gandalf. This is your story. Inside you is: A heart worth trusting. A soul worth loving. A purpose only you can fulfill. Let’s begin, brother.

About Big Merc

I’ve been the strong one. The independent one. The one who pushed through pain, buried emotions, and swore no one would ever control me. I grew up in a stable home but carried a deep belief that I wasn’t enough. That I had to earn love. That showing weakness would get me hurt—or abandoned. I turned to drugs, spiritual bypassing, performance, and pride to escape the weight of it all. Then I met the woman I loved… and realized I didn’t know how to be soft and strong at the same time. Marriage exposed what I had buried. I became reactive, defensive, and sometimes shut down—not because I didn’t love her, but because I didn’t know how to feel safe in intimacy. Hitting rock bottom and encountering Jesus changed everything. I began to understand my past, my patterns, and my pain. I dove deep into emotional health, trauma work, nervous system regulation, and forgiveness. I stopped trying to man up… and learned to open up—without losing my edge. Now I walk with other men who are where I once was: Powerful, but tired Married, but disconnected Strong, but afraid to be vulnerable If that’s you… I get it. And I’m here to walk with you into freedom.

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